Opening Up

Before today, Michael and I decided to share minimal information with our friends and family members about this fun little journey we’re on. I initially wanted to keep any pregnancy news between us to make it “our little thing” for a while. But now it’s become a bigger deal. It consumes about 95 percent of my brain space at any given moment, so it’s time to open up.

Tonight was the first Christmas our families have celebrated together. My in-laws, Michael and I gathered at my mom and dad’s house. It was fun: good food, good drinks, typical catching-up-style holiday conversation. There are a lot of exciting things happening in our family: a doctoral program, retirement travels, a new job in a new city, successful political campaigns, home renovation, and a recent wedding. Then Michael and I got to share.

How do you even start a conversation like this? Everything I started to say sounded in my head like I was announcing that we were having a baby, but then two sentences in, turned into a huge bummer. So finally, I just opened my mouth: “It’s our turn to share. Please don’t get too excited, because this is not an exciting announcement. For the last six months, we’ve been trying to make you people a grandbaby, and it’s not working.”

The reaction went about exactly how I expected it would. There were a few basic questions to answer about what a polycystic ovary is, how it affects my body, and what’s next in the process. (Thinking to myself: I wish I knew. Stupid doctors’ offices and their non-answering of phone calls.) Getting it out in the open was a bit of a relief. The best thing that came from the conversation was a question from one of our parents: “What can we do to be supportive of you?” Take note, fertile family and friends.

The conversation eventually resolved itself. It’s not an easy one to end, but we told everyone when there’s news to share, we’ll share it. I’m thankful for their support and for not pressuring us into having a baby in the first place, because it took us some time to come around.

Christmas itself was great: Presents were opened, I cooked, we visited, and played games. I got a pair of boots I’ve been wanting and was totally surprised by the fun gift a family friend brought: a sweet fisheye lens for my phone!


In all, it was a good holiday but I can’t help but be a little bummed by not getting to share better news with the fam. St. Patrick’s Day is special to my mom… maybe we’ll get to do a fun announcement for that.

I hope you enjoyed your Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Festivus or whatever else!

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