[Michael] Why I’m Not Sad To Be Doing Family On Hard Mode

I’m not Meg. I’m the guy in a lot of these photos and I’m a little less excited about writing about my experience than my wife. Here we go.

Most of my life has been something similar to what you’d get if a Mac truck had a baby with a tornado, so it isn’t strange to me that doing the family thing hasn’t been much different.

It isn’t that I don’t plan what I’m doing. Rather I often have several plates spinning at any one time and the sound of smashing china could be my personal theme song. I’ve been fortunate to achieve several measures of success already in my life and I’m proud of the work I’ve done as a person.

I further think I have several things to offer this world before I take my dirt nap. I want to spend several years hanging out with my wife. I want to change the shape of education in this country. I’d like to be an A-level volleyball player. The biological imperative is something I want to satisfy with my time (a short dude with thinning hair, a weak chest and shin splints… relative fitness = 1.0), but it isn’t the only thing.

Instead I want to keep my focus on becoming the person I must be to achieve all of those things. Greatness is forged in people through struggle and perseverance. Even though I wasn’t sitting and hoping as a 21 year old that we’d experience disease and difficulty, I was hoping that I could meet challenges worthy of the pain, growth and personal actualization that would make me the father I’d like to be. So each setback is an opportunity to grow closer to my wife, to develop my patience and fortitude and to examine and work out my priorities in life.

Screen Shot 2017-03-07 at 8.09.57 PM
Sports-ball. It’s totally important.

That means that while I read a report on the cell morphology of my sperm I’m as much interested in the science as I am in how it impacts my life. Sure a few of my sperm cells may be broken, and sure broken sperm might mean we can’t have kids biologically derived from our bodies. However, adoption changes lives and I’d love to get to do that for a child who would become my own.

Even though my cells don’t appear to be a problem, we’ve still got a long road ahead. Many other things worth having in this world are hard and of course having a family is also on that list. In pattern. What’s next?

There are so many people in the world who have it worse than we do. Suffering isn’t a zero-sum game, but I think perspective is important. Meg has it so much worse than I do but if I had to pick a person to deal with trouble in this world I would pick her. In the great draft of problem-solvers she would go early.

Screen Shot 2017-03-07 at 8.09.43 PM
That’s right, get some stoicism in your life, ya heathen.

So we’ve got this. Who knows how deep this hole goes or whether we’ll ever escape. But I’ve got more to do on this blue marble and if my biggest problem is holding onto my chromosomes then I think I came out okay.

Today I will go to work. Only one of my colleagues knows anything about this problem in my life. Tonight I will go play volleyball. It’s never come up at the gym; that’s not why we’re there. Meg and I are strong and can deal with this together. If we do finally get pregnant it will be great, and if it never happens that will be something we can overcome. In the meantime we all need to get back to saving the world.

So Imma get back to it. K bai.


4 thoughts on “[Michael] Why I’m Not Sad To Be Doing Family On Hard Mode

  1. Michael,

    Impressive verbage and very detailed. I always knew Megan picked you to do life with because there clearly is an intellectual connection.
    You will be blessed with a family when the time is right, whenever that is, be it biological or otherwise.
    I am thankful that Meg is on this life journey with you and that your love for her and your life together is unconditional.
    Love and prayers to the both of you❤️❤️

    Like

  2. Great explaining your feelings and thoughts. When we think we can get many answers from doctors and work outs….and for myself I always thought I was in charge, but cancer changed that thought for me. Turn energy to prayer and God, and sometimes our prayers are answered. I am praying for you both. You are a very special couple…

    Like

  3. Ralph,

    You use words perfectly to express your emotions and your journey. Your attitude is great and both you and Meg will be fantastic parents.

    My husband and know what it is like to expand our family and at times my patience was running thin waiting for it to happen. But I have a strong spouse, as you do, and I will keep good vibes and prayers coming your way.

    We decided to adopt, as you know, and the joy, the feeling, the energy we have for our son is indescribable.

    May the force and all the Stars be in line for you both.

    Alma

    Like

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