Pregnancy Is…

Riding your bike so much slower than you used to, on shorter routes that are way less challenging than the pre-pregnancy ones. Mourning the loss of your early-morning gym routine and the fun of the weight room. Accepting that it, and possibly your near six-pack abs, are probably not coming back anytime soon. Appreciating your biking pal who actually prefers the slower ride.

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Dragging your husband to a child birthing class he really doesn’t want to attend. Tolerating the fact that he spends most of said class reading the internet on his phone. (It’s fine… we probably won’t need to know this stuff.) Being fine with the fact that he’s paying attention for the important part… where the partners learn massage techniques for labor pain.IMG_20170812_104427

Suffering through several DIY projects to make the babies’ nursery as adorable as possible… in ways they probably will never care about or notice or remember. Getting their father involved because wiring dimmer switches is hard and sometimes it makes you cry for very dumb reasons. Building babies a shelf that required way too much trigonometry for a journalism graduate and is probably too big, but looks pretty damn cute up on the wall. Crying through the hard parts of that project too. Giving thanks that your husband has a ridiculous tolerance for your style of learning… and all those pregnancy hormones…. and the temper tantrum that came with them.

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Taking an inappropriate number of bump selfies in the bathroom mirror at work. Hoarding them all on your phone because sharing one selfie a year on social media is too many. Snapchatting a few of them anyway. Trying, mostly unsuccessfully, to get baby kicks on video. Winding up with a million videos of your breathing stomach stored on your phone.

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Realizing that you’ve reached a point where it doesn’t look like a food baby anymore… there’s no question, that’s a baby in there… maybe two. Accepting that you went from a tiny bump to looking further along than you really are, in about a week. Preparing for the “are you sure there aren’t twins in there?” question, because you know it’s coming soon. Opening yourself up with all the answers to all the comments and questions from family members, colleagues, friends, grocery store clerks, other pregnant women, and random strangers in parking lots and at boat launches because having a baby isn’t always easy and people need to know that.

Tiring of the same conversation with people over and over again. Repeating “26 weeks,” “Feeling okay so far,” and “twins” ad nauseam. Letting everyone and anyone play the gender guessing game. Trying to change the conversation topic at times. Wishing strangers could talk about or stare at anything else. Feeling kind of sad sometimes when the conversation does change babies or bumps don’t come up.

Stressing about things that won’t matter in six months or a year or five years. Stressing about things that probably will. Already feeling emotional about maternity leave ending… six months from now. Throwing around the idea of staying home and surviving on one salary. Giving up on that dream pretty quickly.

Screen Shot 2017-08-18 at 3.21.44 PM.pngWriting the perfect nanny search posting. Feeling excited by some of the prospective nannies. Feeling overwhelmed by all the responses. Reading through way too much legal advice online about taxes and background checks and fair hiring processes. Dropping the ball and not getting back to some of them for weeks on end because it seems way to early to even be thinking about leaving our babies with a total stranger.

Starting off a Monday, fasting, on very little sleep with a glucose test and an insane number of blood draws.

Knowing that in reality none of this is all that bad. Hoping that babies stay put for at least two more months… And (literally) peeing your pants in excitement that they’ll be here soon.


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